Wait, I Have A Blog?

Greetings, salutations, welcome new followers and… wait, I have a blog?

Okay, I admit it. Reports of my recent disappearance are fairly accurate, but I can explain. I’ve been held against my will in a dark literary cellar for the past few weeks, chained to an old desk and forced to write and rewrite original material. About every hour or so the “Muse” (that’s what she goes by, anyway) shows up with a bucket of blank pages, dumps them on my desk, and repeats over and over, “It puts the lotion on its skin.”—wait, wrong movie—”It puts the words on the paper,” to which I reply under my whiskey-soaked* breath, “Demanding bitch, aren’t you.” Of course, this is all just a line of shit to pepper over the honest fact that I’ve actually been lazy and giving in to what author Steven Pressfield identifies as Resistance.

But assuming I make it out of here alive—and if I don’t, I’ll leave a good-looking slush pile—I’ll have some exciting new stuff to post here. In the meantime, thanks for your patience. And big thanks to Foodblogger Mania for including Dry-Humping Parnassus on their list of recommended blogs for National Poetry Month, which reminds me—there are all sorts of poetry things happening on the Interwebz at the moment. My current favorite (owing to the fact that I’m a #HashtagWhore) is the #npm15 tag on Twitter which links to countless resources for reading and getting involved with poetry. You can also tweet your poems of 140 characters or less using that hashtag (or #NationalPoetryMonth), and if you’re really ambitious you can take part in #NaPoWriMo and post a new poem every day for the month of April. (Sorry, I’m not nearly that ambitious.) So blow up Twitter with your micro-poetry, and feel free to post your work in the comments, or mention me @robbylucas and I’ll retweet my favorites.

As for me, I’ll be tweeting my poems from a dusty cellar located somewhere in Thanks To Chloroform, I Don’t Have A Clue, while the nagging bitch—sorry, the “Muse”—paces up and down the stairs… “It puts the words on the paper…” and I’ll share them here as well.

So don’t bother sending for help. Send more whiskey* and light bulbs.

Cheers!

*This is also a line of shit, used purely for entertainment (mine). I prefer to write sober. The whiskey comes later.

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11 thoughts on “Wait, I Have A Blog?

  1. Yay! You are back. That is indeed good news. I could have shipped over some whiskey for you, but I am afraid I am quite partial to the golden nectar and would rather keep it for myself. You are a strong lad, however, and will do just fine without me helping you on the road to Writer’s Alcoholism Syndrome. Good to see you in my email notifications again and don’t kill the muse…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, it’s good to be back. The whiskey thing is actually a joke. I prefer to write sober. The whiskey is there to lure the Muse into a drunken haze so I can sneak outside for an hour of sunlight. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, now we all have to admit that the fun has been sucked out of our lives. I like whiskey, but I have chosen to stop consuming any alcohol 10 years ago and I am afraid the lack of drunken passion may sometimes reflect in my attempts at poetry, but at least they are all written without a pounding headache. I think your muse has morphed into a slave driver!

        Liked by 1 person

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