How To Make A Happy Poem

Disregard the surveillance drone circling overhead. Remain calm. Follow instructions. Be a good subject. Don’t complain. Don’t start a revolt. Don’t read rejection slips or the breakup letter on the kitchen counter: change the locks. Avoid common spills. Avoid famines, epidemics and peacekeeping invasions. Stay off the grass on rainy days and don’t speak of death, poverty, failure, the slightest hint of emotional distress. Discretion is advised. Remember your training. Keep regular hours. Drink coffee only with artificial sweeteners. Attend more workshops and motivational seminars. Watch more television. Buy more products. Sleepwalking is normal. Read this only once and discard, then look for your prize in specially marked boxes. Act now. Supplies are limited.   [Sample copy. Not for resale.]

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